Is there something out there that you truly want? Something you've been dreaming about for a long time but hasn't come to fruition? Are you confused and resigned to the fact that something that you truly want just won't happen for you? I know I've felt that way. But, there is a way out, and it all depends on whether or not you open your eyes to what is available to you.
There was a time when I was a victim of my own defeatist attitude. I was absolutely certain that the only luck I had was bad luck. Nothing ever seemed to work out, or, if it did, it was short-lived. Oh sure, I still have "bad days", but, the difference is purely in my attitude. Once I got out of myself and saw all the opportunities the universe presented to me, I could no longer blame my misfortunes on "bad luck" but on my own unwillingness to see what was clearly in front of me! Today, when bad days arise, I step back, take a look at how I'm feeling, and then remember that everything that I need is already here. It's just a matter of whether or not I choose to utilize the tools.
Case in point. The last few days, I have been in a funk. Focusing on what I don't have instead of what I do have, and what I can achieve. Once I opened my eyes, I saw that I have wonderful things happening in my life! I have great friends who are willing to help me, abundant resources that help me contribute to this blog, and opportunities that arise every day, as long as I am open to them. I can't tell you how many awesome people I have met simply by allowing it to happen. And, here's the kicker: all of them have helped me without even knowing that they have!
In my moment of clarity I remembered to be grateful. I have wonderful friends. I have a wonderful family. I have a wonderful dog. That alone helped lift my spirits. And, I remembered an old saying: "There once was a man who complained that he had no shoes until he met a man who had no feet". My period of sulking was over. I talked to a friend, I spent time with my dog, and talked to someone who inspired me to keep going with what I've been doing and even offered to help me. I got my answers, which led to some peace of mind, followed by inspiration.
Nothing happens in this world by mistake. It is all a manifestation of our thoughts. When I'm focused on the negative, more negative comes into my life. When I'm focused on the positive, more positive things happen. It's that simple! I've had to retrain my brain to remember the good, and learn from the bad. It's all a learning experience.
I'm feeling abundant! I thank goodness for all those who continue to be a part of my life, and will continue to allow others into my life. I hope to be of service to all of you, as all of you have been to me.
Continue to think positively! Believe it! Good things will come to you.
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Art as an Emotional Outlet
Happy Easter, Everyone! I've stuffed my belly and am ready to blog. I have my Playlist open and am feeling inspired! Which, by the way, brings me to today's topic question: What role does Art play in your daily life and how does it help you?
I listen to all kinds of music. Fast songs, slow songs, sentimental songs, loud songs, soft songs, happy songs and sad songs. It all depends on my mood. On days that are warm and sunny, I like to listen to songs from the summers of my childhood and those that feature guitar. On rainy days, I like songs with piano. When I'm pumped up/excited about something, I like fast, urban songs. When I'm reminiscing, I listen to 80s music. When I'm missing someone or upset about something, I listen to sad songs.
My music playlist is a compilation of sentiments, experiences and memories. They cannot be placed into one category or genre. Much like a painter uses canvas and paint to convey their thoughts and feelings, the deep feelings that are evoked from my music collection are something that I absolutely love sharing with my friends and fellow bloggers. Some songs move me so much that I find I either cry or have an increased heart-rate, or an overwhelming sense of peace and love. My writing helps accomplish this, as well.
I appreciate art, in all of it's forms. If you are a musician, painter, sketch artist, actor, writer/journalist, etc., or just have an appreciation for it, please feel free to share with me how expressing your self helps you with whatever you are feeling/experiencing/thinking in your life. I love to hear others' stories.
Have a wonderful day and Easter Holiday!
Arlene
I listen to all kinds of music. Fast songs, slow songs, sentimental songs, loud songs, soft songs, happy songs and sad songs. It all depends on my mood. On days that are warm and sunny, I like to listen to songs from the summers of my childhood and those that feature guitar. On rainy days, I like songs with piano. When I'm pumped up/excited about something, I like fast, urban songs. When I'm reminiscing, I listen to 80s music. When I'm missing someone or upset about something, I listen to sad songs.
My music playlist is a compilation of sentiments, experiences and memories. They cannot be placed into one category or genre. Much like a painter uses canvas and paint to convey their thoughts and feelings, the deep feelings that are evoked from my music collection are something that I absolutely love sharing with my friends and fellow bloggers. Some songs move me so much that I find I either cry or have an increased heart-rate, or an overwhelming sense of peace and love. My writing helps accomplish this, as well.
I appreciate art, in all of it's forms. If you are a musician, painter, sketch artist, actor, writer/journalist, etc., or just have an appreciation for it, please feel free to share with me how expressing your self helps you with whatever you are feeling/experiencing/thinking in your life. I love to hear others' stories.
Have a wonderful day and Easter Holiday!
Arlene
Friday, April 10, 2009
Your Emotions Are Your Guide
Have you ever noticed that even though you've thought about something and it seems like the "right" thing to do, you are still confused and don't feel quite right? Everything seems to be lining up and it might be exactly what you thought you'd been waiting for, only to discover that you're just not happy about it? Isn't it completely confusing? It doesn't have to be.
Our emotions are our guide to happiness. We humans tend to want to use logic to solve our problems. Logic, of course, is a gift and is useful, but it isn't everything. We also have feelings. Ultimately, how we FEEL about something dictates whether or not it will lead to happiness, not what we THINK about it.
There's a saying that I've used before in my own life: "If my head, heart and gut don't line up, it's probably not the 'right' thing to do". Isn't that the truth? In my own quest for happiness, I've tried to resist how I feel about something, because logic was telling me to do the opposite. Unfortunately, emotions always won, and I ended up feeling more distant from happiness than closer to it.
For example: I was in a relationship with someone I loved very much. I saw that he had a lot of potential and a big heart. But, what I also saw was someone who was very defensive, and quick to blame others for his unhappiness, and then deny that he was doing that very thing! Although I wanted him to be happy and I didn't want to distance myself from him because of our history as friends, ultimately, being in his presence brought me down, too. I couldn't fix him, and he didn't want to be fixed. It was only when I left for good that I immediately started to feel happy again. I stopped getting migraines (one way negative emotion manifests itself). I started to feel like myself again, and I started drawing people to me like a magnet, as I had in happier times. Today, I am happy, content, loved and having a great time in my life!
The key word here is resistance. The more we resist positive feelings, the more we're not in alignment with positive vibration, or good-will. We resist positive emotion by continuing to do the very things that drive us farther from contentment and joy, and ultimately, attract more of the negative things we DON'T want, because that is what we're focusing on. The more we seek happiness, and put away how we THINK about a situation, the closer to contentment and joy we become. Our focus is redirected to that which brings pleasure, and we feel good when we get what we desire. When we continue to focus on the positive things that make us happy, more good things will come that contribute to that happiness.
The Dalai Lama tells us that we should do what makes us happy. In the book The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C Cutler, M.D., the doctor tells a story of a patient of his who was having a difficult time deciding whether to stay where she was or move to a more desirable location. She made a pros and cons list, and she still couldn't make up her mind. She loved her job, and knew she couldn't find another one like it where she dreamed of living, but she also loved the accessibility, beauty, and options of her dream town. The doctor, knowing what the Dalai Lama had told him about doing that which makes one happy, asked his patient that very question. Suddenly, the decision wasn't so hard. She loved her job, and it made her happy. The amenities and all the external things she liked about her dream destination suddenly didn't seem so important. Once she put away logic and thought about how she felt, she just knew. No more confusion.
So, I ask you to think about something in your life that you may be struggling with. What does logic tell you? What do your feelings tell you? If they line up, then you have your answer. If they don't line up, then you also have your answer. Trust your feelings. Do what makes you happy. You will not be disappointed in the long run. Remember, the more positive things that happen in your life, the more things like it will be drawn to you!
Good Luck!
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
Our emotions are our guide to happiness. We humans tend to want to use logic to solve our problems. Logic, of course, is a gift and is useful, but it isn't everything. We also have feelings. Ultimately, how we FEEL about something dictates whether or not it will lead to happiness, not what we THINK about it.
There's a saying that I've used before in my own life: "If my head, heart and gut don't line up, it's probably not the 'right' thing to do". Isn't that the truth? In my own quest for happiness, I've tried to resist how I feel about something, because logic was telling me to do the opposite. Unfortunately, emotions always won, and I ended up feeling more distant from happiness than closer to it.
For example: I was in a relationship with someone I loved very much. I saw that he had a lot of potential and a big heart. But, what I also saw was someone who was very defensive, and quick to blame others for his unhappiness, and then deny that he was doing that very thing! Although I wanted him to be happy and I didn't want to distance myself from him because of our history as friends, ultimately, being in his presence brought me down, too. I couldn't fix him, and he didn't want to be fixed. It was only when I left for good that I immediately started to feel happy again. I stopped getting migraines (one way negative emotion manifests itself). I started to feel like myself again, and I started drawing people to me like a magnet, as I had in happier times. Today, I am happy, content, loved and having a great time in my life!
The key word here is resistance. The more we resist positive feelings, the more we're not in alignment with positive vibration, or good-will. We resist positive emotion by continuing to do the very things that drive us farther from contentment and joy, and ultimately, attract more of the negative things we DON'T want, because that is what we're focusing on. The more we seek happiness, and put away how we THINK about a situation, the closer to contentment and joy we become. Our focus is redirected to that which brings pleasure, and we feel good when we get what we desire. When we continue to focus on the positive things that make us happy, more good things will come that contribute to that happiness.
The Dalai Lama tells us that we should do what makes us happy. In the book The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C Cutler, M.D., the doctor tells a story of a patient of his who was having a difficult time deciding whether to stay where she was or move to a more desirable location. She made a pros and cons list, and she still couldn't make up her mind. She loved her job, and knew she couldn't find another one like it where she dreamed of living, but she also loved the accessibility, beauty, and options of her dream town. The doctor, knowing what the Dalai Lama had told him about doing that which makes one happy, asked his patient that very question. Suddenly, the decision wasn't so hard. She loved her job, and it made her happy. The amenities and all the external things she liked about her dream destination suddenly didn't seem so important. Once she put away logic and thought about how she felt, she just knew. No more confusion.
So, I ask you to think about something in your life that you may be struggling with. What does logic tell you? What do your feelings tell you? If they line up, then you have your answer. If they don't line up, then you also have your answer. Trust your feelings. Do what makes you happy. You will not be disappointed in the long run. Remember, the more positive things that happen in your life, the more things like it will be drawn to you!
Good Luck!
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
How words heal
I've begun reading a book entitled The Healing Power of Water by Masaru Emoto. In this book, studies were done in which the researcher placed words on bottles of water and then froze them. Some had positive connotations, such as "happy", and others had negative connotations, such as "malice" (these are my own examples). Emoto studied the crystal patterns formed on each of the bottles. The ones with positive words had beautiful, uniform crystals. The ones with negative words had misshapen, ugly-looking crystals. In all, the research suggests that positive vibrations have positive effects, and vice versa.
That's pretty astounding! Think about it. Our own bodies are made up of mostly water (I think it's around 70%). When we're given a compliment, we feel good. When we're chastised or criticized, we feel bad. Imagine the effect these words have on our bodies when they're directed at us. Imagine, after being showered with positive words, our bodies becoming more uniform, in sync with the good-will of the universe. We become more beautiful on the inside. When this happens, we are happier, and able to spread this joy to others.
I have noticed in my quest to become more content, I am better able to give others sincere compliments, without feeling uncomfortable or scared to do so. When I see someone wearing a beautiful blouse, sporting a new haircut, or doing something nice for someone else, I am compelled to share my thoughts with them. How exciting is that? Their actions help me in a positive way, and my thanks to them, in turn, helps them. What a beautiful experience.
At one time, there was a commercial about dial-up internet service in an office. The commercial starts out with one person being angry that his dial-up is taking so long, and as he storms out of the office, a fellow-coworker says "hello" to him. In his fit of anger, instead of returning the favor, he knocks the papers she's holding out of her hand and they all fall on the floor. She becomes angry. She walks by another coworker who says "hello" to her and she, in turn, spills his coffee. The scene digresses until everyone in the office is fighting, and one poor guy's bald head is being scribbled on with a sharpie, while in a headlock. Not a happy day at the office.
So, this is what I'm going to do, today. I'm going into work with a positive attitude. I am going to demonstrate good-will to my fellow coworkers, and observe where that leads. I am positive (oops, I made a pun!) that this feeling of good-will is going to beget more good-will.
I will let you know how it turns out.
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
That's pretty astounding! Think about it. Our own bodies are made up of mostly water (I think it's around 70%). When we're given a compliment, we feel good. When we're chastised or criticized, we feel bad. Imagine the effect these words have on our bodies when they're directed at us. Imagine, after being showered with positive words, our bodies becoming more uniform, in sync with the good-will of the universe. We become more beautiful on the inside. When this happens, we are happier, and able to spread this joy to others.
I have noticed in my quest to become more content, I am better able to give others sincere compliments, without feeling uncomfortable or scared to do so. When I see someone wearing a beautiful blouse, sporting a new haircut, or doing something nice for someone else, I am compelled to share my thoughts with them. How exciting is that? Their actions help me in a positive way, and my thanks to them, in turn, helps them. What a beautiful experience.
At one time, there was a commercial about dial-up internet service in an office. The commercial starts out with one person being angry that his dial-up is taking so long, and as he storms out of the office, a fellow-coworker says "hello" to him. In his fit of anger, instead of returning the favor, he knocks the papers she's holding out of her hand and they all fall on the floor. She becomes angry. She walks by another coworker who says "hello" to her and she, in turn, spills his coffee. The scene digresses until everyone in the office is fighting, and one poor guy's bald head is being scribbled on with a sharpie, while in a headlock. Not a happy day at the office.
So, this is what I'm going to do, today. I'm going into work with a positive attitude. I am going to demonstrate good-will to my fellow coworkers, and observe where that leads. I am positive (oops, I made a pun!) that this feeling of good-will is going to beget more good-will.
I will let you know how it turns out.
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Being the Best Person You Can Be
Not long ago, I was the kind of person who would (and could) hurt someone with my words (I have a quick tongue and love to swear). And, although I felt justified to use such hostility in the moment, I always felt worse, instead of better. Have you noticed this in your own life?
What I have come to find is that even though we're feeling attacked and lash out in order to justify our actions, in the long run, we're just helping cultivate a pattern of negativity. It's a form of instant gratification that fades just as quickly as it erupts. Every time I've lashed out at someone it has impacted me in a negative way:
1. I get a headache.
2. I feel sick.
3. I become sad.
4. I become remorseful.
Do you feel like this after a confrontation? What can we do to cultivate positivity and NOT lash out, even when we feel we're being lashed-on? It's a simple concept, but, it's not easy to apply. Here are some things I am working on to cultivate positivity:
1. Identify the negative thought in your mind.
2. Choose not to respond in a way that matches the possible negative temperament of the offender.
3. Breathe, stay calm, and use "I" statements. Avoid pointing the finger and state only what it is that "I" need.
4. Avoid blaming the other party in order to feel superior.
5. Don't swear, throw things, invade the other's space, etc. (In other words, be adult-like).
It takes practice, but, believe it or not, when you incorporate it, it DOES work. You leave the situation feeling as though you handled it the best you could, without blame or harsh words. In the instances I've had to use these steps, I've actually felt calmer and more ready to move on to more positive things ahead instead of dwelling and stewing on a confrontation gone bad. Now, I just save the swearing for humor. F&*@ yeah!
So, why do we always feel worse in a confrontation gone bad? Well, it's like this. Negativity breeds more negativity. The more we feed the negativity, the more resistant we are to the good will (love) that naturally flows throughout the Universe. This is where depression breeds. And, if you've ever been seriously depressed, as I have, you know that it is difficult to climb back out of. Working these steps will help you achieve inner peace, self-confidence, and love of self.
Try it! Let me know how it works for you. Any thoughts or personal experiences are greatly appreciated.
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
What I have come to find is that even though we're feeling attacked and lash out in order to justify our actions, in the long run, we're just helping cultivate a pattern of negativity. It's a form of instant gratification that fades just as quickly as it erupts. Every time I've lashed out at someone it has impacted me in a negative way:
1. I get a headache.
2. I feel sick.
3. I become sad.
4. I become remorseful.
Do you feel like this after a confrontation? What can we do to cultivate positivity and NOT lash out, even when we feel we're being lashed-on? It's a simple concept, but, it's not easy to apply. Here are some things I am working on to cultivate positivity:
1. Identify the negative thought in your mind.
2. Choose not to respond in a way that matches the possible negative temperament of the offender.
3. Breathe, stay calm, and use "I" statements. Avoid pointing the finger and state only what it is that "I" need.
4. Avoid blaming the other party in order to feel superior.
5. Don't swear, throw things, invade the other's space, etc. (In other words, be adult-like).
It takes practice, but, believe it or not, when you incorporate it, it DOES work. You leave the situation feeling as though you handled it the best you could, without blame or harsh words. In the instances I've had to use these steps, I've actually felt calmer and more ready to move on to more positive things ahead instead of dwelling and stewing on a confrontation gone bad. Now, I just save the swearing for humor. F&*@ yeah!
So, why do we always feel worse in a confrontation gone bad? Well, it's like this. Negativity breeds more negativity. The more we feed the negativity, the more resistant we are to the good will (love) that naturally flows throughout the Universe. This is where depression breeds. And, if you've ever been seriously depressed, as I have, you know that it is difficult to climb back out of. Working these steps will help you achieve inner peace, self-confidence, and love of self.
Try it! Let me know how it works for you. Any thoughts or personal experiences are greatly appreciated.
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
Monday, April 6, 2009
Self-Care vs. Selfishness/Self-Centeredness
When talking to people, I often notice that people confuse taking care of one's self with selfishness. I hear people saying "How could he/she do that to me?" or "Why would he/she make that decision, knowing how much (insert person here) needed him/her?". Those statements, in of themselves, are selfish statements, placing the person offended as the victim. It's all about expectations. Not sure what the difference is between the two? Let me explain.
Self-care is simply just taking care of one's self. It's not about getting ahead at the expense of others. Self-care isn't designed to manipulate or take advantage of someone else. We are often taught that we are supposed to put the needs of everyone else above our own. This isn't always the case. Remember, YOU are a person, too, and it's your responsibility to take care of YOU. If someone else's needs are in direct conflict with what your life's purpose is, goes against your goals, or eats up your time, it is important that you decide to put your needs first. It is also the other person's responsibility to accept that not everyone can be there for him/her all the time. He/she also has a choice regarding what path to take, and have confidence that he/she can take care of himself/herself.
Selfishness/self-centeredness, on the other hand, is a position more like the "victim" described in the above paragraph. The selfish/self-centered person is focused on self in a way that he/she expects others to be of service to him/her at a drop of the hat. The selfish person is less concerned about you, and more concerned about what he/she can get out of you. In reality, the selfish/self-centered person lacks self-esteem and confidence (which comes from within) and depends (expectation) on others to fulfill their needs for them.
Is the difference getting clearer now? I hope so. Let me follow up with a few examples:
Self-care
Jane has been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past six months. She is also a hard worker at her company. She has applied for many promotions, and finally, she got the job of her dreams. The only problem is, the job is in Nevada, and she and her boyfriend live in Upstate New York. She talks about her job offer with her boyfriend, and, although he's happy for her recent success, isn't thrilled about moving to Nevada. He has a great job where he is. Jane is disappointed that her boyfriend isn't willing to move, but, she understands that he has his own set of life circumstances. She weighs her options. She can stay in New York with her boyfriend, whom she cares deeply for, or, she can take the promotion. She really wants this job, and feels that if she stays, she'll be unhappy and ultimately resent her boyfriend for not wanting to come with her. Jane doesn't want to hold resentment, and, the more she thinks about the opportunity ahead of her, the more excited about the job she becomes. She decides to take the job, and, although her boyfriend is sad that their lives are heading in different directions, he understands that she's doing what's best for her. He realizes that if he were in her shoes, he'd probably make the same decision. He and Jane make their tearful goodbyes, and she boards the plane, sad that her relationship seems to be ending, but feeling she made the right decision for her.
Now, let's use Jane again, but change the roles to sefish/self-centered roles.
Selfish/Self-Centered
Jane has been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past six months. She is also a hard worker at her company. She has applied for many promotions, and finally, she got the job of her dreams. She tells her boyfriend about her exciting opportunity, and, although he is happy for her, he cannot move to Nevada with her. He likes New York and his job. Jane becomes very upset. She thought things between them were going really well, and is irate that he would choose his job over her. She can't believe that he could be so selfish. She expected him to back her up, and move with her. Doesn't he love her? Doesn't he know how important this is? She berates him for being so selfish that he would not even consider going with her, not realizing that her expectations, in of themselves, are selfish. She spends the next few weeks stewing about his decision to take care of himself and not back her up. She boards the plane alone, focused on her boyfriend's "bad" behavior instead of being excited about the new road ahead.
Starting to make sense? People who understand that it is up to them to make their own happiness are better able to make decisions about their lives without hostility or ill will toward others. They realize it is their responsibility, and don't expect others to play along if it's not what is best for him/her at this juncture in his/her own life.The ones who rely on others for their happiness or security are not confident enough to obtain it on their own. In essence, they use people, and it's all out of fear.
So, which person are you? There was a time that I was that selfish person. I was afraid of not being liked or not having the opportunities that I wanted, so I would latch onto other peoples'. When someone made a decision about his/her life that didn't include me, I would be hurt and irate. I thought I was the center of their universe. I was completely unhappy and ultimately always ended up alone. Then, a time came where I had to take a good, hard look at myself. I couldn't blame anyone for my misfortunes because there was no one left - except me. I began to realize that I was the problem. I needed to start making decisions for me, taking care of me, and NOT expecting anyone or everyone else to do it for me. That realization made it easier for me to say "no" to people who's life plan was different than mine, have confidence that I could achieve whatever it was that I wanted on my own, and stop expecting/relying on people to hold my hand through the process. It was, and continues to be, very liberating.
In conclusion, you can have all that you desire. It is up to you (self-care) to achieve it. You CAN do it. Believe it! It worked for me, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. So, go get it!
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
Self-care is simply just taking care of one's self. It's not about getting ahead at the expense of others. Self-care isn't designed to manipulate or take advantage of someone else. We are often taught that we are supposed to put the needs of everyone else above our own. This isn't always the case. Remember, YOU are a person, too, and it's your responsibility to take care of YOU. If someone else's needs are in direct conflict with what your life's purpose is, goes against your goals, or eats up your time, it is important that you decide to put your needs first. It is also the other person's responsibility to accept that not everyone can be there for him/her all the time. He/she also has a choice regarding what path to take, and have confidence that he/she can take care of himself/herself.
Selfishness/self-centeredness, on the other hand, is a position more like the "victim" described in the above paragraph. The selfish/self-centered person is focused on self in a way that he/she expects others to be of service to him/her at a drop of the hat. The selfish person is less concerned about you, and more concerned about what he/she can get out of you. In reality, the selfish/self-centered person lacks self-esteem and confidence (which comes from within) and depends (expectation) on others to fulfill their needs for them.
Is the difference getting clearer now? I hope so. Let me follow up with a few examples:
Self-care
Jane has been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past six months. She is also a hard worker at her company. She has applied for many promotions, and finally, she got the job of her dreams. The only problem is, the job is in Nevada, and she and her boyfriend live in Upstate New York. She talks about her job offer with her boyfriend, and, although he's happy for her recent success, isn't thrilled about moving to Nevada. He has a great job where he is. Jane is disappointed that her boyfriend isn't willing to move, but, she understands that he has his own set of life circumstances. She weighs her options. She can stay in New York with her boyfriend, whom she cares deeply for, or, she can take the promotion. She really wants this job, and feels that if she stays, she'll be unhappy and ultimately resent her boyfriend for not wanting to come with her. Jane doesn't want to hold resentment, and, the more she thinks about the opportunity ahead of her, the more excited about the job she becomes. She decides to take the job, and, although her boyfriend is sad that their lives are heading in different directions, he understands that she's doing what's best for her. He realizes that if he were in her shoes, he'd probably make the same decision. He and Jane make their tearful goodbyes, and she boards the plane, sad that her relationship seems to be ending, but feeling she made the right decision for her.
Now, let's use Jane again, but change the roles to sefish/self-centered roles.
Selfish/Self-Centered
Jane has been in a relationship with a wonderful man for the past six months. She is also a hard worker at her company. She has applied for many promotions, and finally, she got the job of her dreams. She tells her boyfriend about her exciting opportunity, and, although he is happy for her, he cannot move to Nevada with her. He likes New York and his job. Jane becomes very upset. She thought things between them were going really well, and is irate that he would choose his job over her. She can't believe that he could be so selfish. She expected him to back her up, and move with her. Doesn't he love her? Doesn't he know how important this is? She berates him for being so selfish that he would not even consider going with her, not realizing that her expectations, in of themselves, are selfish. She spends the next few weeks stewing about his decision to take care of himself and not back her up. She boards the plane alone, focused on her boyfriend's "bad" behavior instead of being excited about the new road ahead.
Starting to make sense? People who understand that it is up to them to make their own happiness are better able to make decisions about their lives without hostility or ill will toward others. They realize it is their responsibility, and don't expect others to play along if it's not what is best for him/her at this juncture in his/her own life.The ones who rely on others for their happiness or security are not confident enough to obtain it on their own. In essence, they use people, and it's all out of fear.
So, which person are you? There was a time that I was that selfish person. I was afraid of not being liked or not having the opportunities that I wanted, so I would latch onto other peoples'. When someone made a decision about his/her life that didn't include me, I would be hurt and irate. I thought I was the center of their universe. I was completely unhappy and ultimately always ended up alone. Then, a time came where I had to take a good, hard look at myself. I couldn't blame anyone for my misfortunes because there was no one left - except me. I began to realize that I was the problem. I needed to start making decisions for me, taking care of me, and NOT expecting anyone or everyone else to do it for me. That realization made it easier for me to say "no" to people who's life plan was different than mine, have confidence that I could achieve whatever it was that I wanted on my own, and stop expecting/relying on people to hold my hand through the process. It was, and continues to be, very liberating.
In conclusion, you can have all that you desire. It is up to you (self-care) to achieve it. You CAN do it. Believe it! It worked for me, and I am happier than I have ever been in my life. So, go get it!
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Cultivating Positive Thoughts to Achieve What You Desire
The Law of Attraction states that like produces like, meaning, the more you focus on one thought or aspect of your life, you will attract more of the same. For example, about a year ago, I left my house feeling really good. I felt happy, attractive, and was content. I went to my favorite local restaurant for lunch. Feeling happy and fully abundant in all aspects of my life, I intended to pay for my lunch as I always do. The server comes over to me and tells me that a gentleman across the room has bought my lunch for me. Feeling intrigued and touched by such a selfless and genuine act of kindness, I decided to go to the store and buy a lottery ticket (I was feeling lucky!). I won fifty dollars. Reeling from the excitement of my afternoon, I went to work and told the story of my experiences. I felt happy and loved all day. When I returned home that night, I opened my mail. To my amazement was a check made out to me. In one day's time, I'd been given money three times. It was truly wonderful that the universe gave back so quickly.
So, how does one start achieving all that one desires? It's actually quite simple. In fact, you do it every day, even though you may not realize it. Everything that happens in your life is a direct result of your thoughts. That's right! What you think and how you think manifests itself in your daily life. Right now you're probably thinking, "What?!?! I would never want some of the things that have happened in my life to happen, but they did". Exactly. What you think, whether it is positive or negative, has a vibration. The universe knows no difference. So, if you live in fear of what "might" happen, and focus on it, that, and things like it, will happen. If you choose to focus on positive things that you want, but lack the knowledge that it will happen (doubt), it will not happen. But, if you choose to think that specific positive things will happen, and KNOW that they will happen, those positive things, and more like them, will manifest in your life. How crazy and wonderful is that?
Still not sure? I'll give you another example. Let's say you wake up, and immediately you're thinking, "I'm so tired. Today is not going to be a good day". You get out of bed, and stub your toe on the bed post. As your hopping and swearing your way to the bathroom, you catch your sleeve on the door knob and tear a hole in your shirt. Now in a considerably bad mood, you grumble into the shower and get soap in your eye as you're lathering your hair. At this point you're convinced that EVERYTHING is going to go wrong today. Your day is ruined. You get stuck in traffic. You spill your coffee...etc. Ever had one of those days? I thought so. I have too. It's all a direct reflection of our thoughts. That whole day could have been turned around by simply thinking, "I am tired, but I'm going to get up, get in the shower, visualize getting my morning coffee, and having a great day". It is that simple. What manifests in our lives is a direct result of our thoughts.
If this interests you, here are a few books that I have read and reread: The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham, by Jerry and Esther Hicks, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, and Measuring the Immeasurable: The Scientific Case for Spirituality, by Daniel Goleman, et. al.
Let me know your thoughts, and please share any similar experiences you've had with the Law of Attraction!
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
So, how does one start achieving all that one desires? It's actually quite simple. In fact, you do it every day, even though you may not realize it. Everything that happens in your life is a direct result of your thoughts. That's right! What you think and how you think manifests itself in your daily life. Right now you're probably thinking, "What?!?! I would never want some of the things that have happened in my life to happen, but they did". Exactly. What you think, whether it is positive or negative, has a vibration. The universe knows no difference. So, if you live in fear of what "might" happen, and focus on it, that, and things like it, will happen. If you choose to focus on positive things that you want, but lack the knowledge that it will happen (doubt), it will not happen. But, if you choose to think that specific positive things will happen, and KNOW that they will happen, those positive things, and more like them, will manifest in your life. How crazy and wonderful is that?
Still not sure? I'll give you another example. Let's say you wake up, and immediately you're thinking, "I'm so tired. Today is not going to be a good day". You get out of bed, and stub your toe on the bed post. As your hopping and swearing your way to the bathroom, you catch your sleeve on the door knob and tear a hole in your shirt. Now in a considerably bad mood, you grumble into the shower and get soap in your eye as you're lathering your hair. At this point you're convinced that EVERYTHING is going to go wrong today. Your day is ruined. You get stuck in traffic. You spill your coffee...etc. Ever had one of those days? I thought so. I have too. It's all a direct reflection of our thoughts. That whole day could have been turned around by simply thinking, "I am tired, but I'm going to get up, get in the shower, visualize getting my morning coffee, and having a great day". It is that simple. What manifests in our lives is a direct result of our thoughts.
If this interests you, here are a few books that I have read and reread: The Law of Attraction: The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham, by Jerry and Esther Hicks, The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne, and Measuring the Immeasurable: The Scientific Case for Spirituality, by Daniel Goleman, et. al.
Let me know your thoughts, and please share any similar experiences you've had with the Law of Attraction!
Have a wonderful day!
Arlene
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