Being the Best Person You Can Be

Not long ago, I was the kind of person who would (and could) hurt someone with my words (I have a quick tongue and love to swear). And, although I felt justified to use such hostility in the moment, I always felt worse, instead of better. Have you noticed this in your own life?

What I have come to find is that even though we're feeling attacked and lash out in order to justify our actions, in the long run, we're just helping cultivate a pattern of negativity. It's a form of instant gratification that fades just as quickly as it erupts. Every time I've lashed out at someone it has impacted me in a negative way:

1. I get a headache.

2. I feel sick.

3. I become sad.

4. I become remorseful.

Do you feel like this after a confrontation? What can we do to cultivate positivity and NOT lash out, even when we feel we're being lashed-on? It's a simple concept, but, it's not easy to apply. Here are some things I am working on to cultivate positivity:

1. Identify the negative thought in your mind.

2. Choose not to respond in a way that matches the possible negative temperament of the offender.

3. Breathe, stay calm, and use "I" statements. Avoid pointing the finger and state only what it is that "I" need.

4. Avoid blaming the other party in order to feel superior.

5. Don't swear, throw things, invade the other's space, etc. (In other words, be adult-like).

It takes practice, but, believe it or not, when you incorporate it, it DOES work. You leave the situation feeling as though you handled it the best you could, without blame or harsh words. In the instances I've had to use these steps, I've actually felt calmer and more ready to move on to more positive things ahead instead of dwelling and stewing on a confrontation gone bad. Now, I just save the swearing for humor. F&*@ yeah!

So, why do we always feel worse in a confrontation gone bad? Well, it's like this. Negativity breeds more negativity. The more we feed the negativity, the more resistant we are to the good will (love) that naturally flows throughout the Universe. This is where depression breeds. And, if you've ever been seriously depressed, as I have, you know that it is difficult to climb back out of. Working these steps will help you achieve inner peace, self-confidence, and love of self.

Try it! Let me know how it works for you. Any thoughts or personal experiences are greatly appreciated.

Have a wonderful day!

Arlene